When a woman gets pregnant this is a very special period of life for her. Most of them feel happy and scared at the same time. If yo feel the same and you want to get rid of the tension and stress, you should read the following pregnancy jokes. Women will love and understand this pregnancy humor better than no one. This experience is precious. You will fulfill your mission as a woman soon. Giving a birth to a baby is the most beautiful thing which may happen in your life. Open your heart to something completely new.
What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex? Childbirth.
Should I have a baby after 35?
No, 35 children is enough.
What is the most common pregnancy craving?
For men to be the ones who get pregnant.
They say so many people die because of alcohol…
Perhaps they never realized how many of them are born because of it.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper!
Q. Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear-end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
A. Yes, your bladder.
How do you win an argument?
Be pregnant. That’s it! You’re done.
Funny pregnant jokes
Have you just discovered that you are pregnant? Most probably you feel very confused and happy at the same time. Very soon a new life will appear and you have to be prepared for this. However, there is no need to feel stressed. Just relax and watch carefully how a new life is growing inside your body. This is a real miracle. Read the following funny pregnant jokes, which will definitely help you relax and look at the situation with ease and joy.
The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
Because you’re fatter than they are.
I’m a Pregasauraus…mess with me and you’ll be extinct.
Girlfriend: Baby, I’m pregnant. What do you want it to be? Boyfriend: A joke.
Q. What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth?
A. It means that the baby’s mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.
What’s the oddest stage of pregnancy?
When people aren’t sure whether to congratulate you or buy you a gym membership.
Q. Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps?
A. Yes, baby lips.
Baby shower jokes
The ceremony called baby shower is very beautiful and special. If you are invited to this ceremony by your friends you should prepare a special gift and beautiful a greeting card. Below, you will find the most beautiful baby shower jokes which will make your friends feel very happy and proud.
Girl: Mom I’m pregnant again!! It must be something in the air! Mom: Yeah….your legs.
A woman goes to a sperm bank for artificial insemination.
The doctor takes off his clothes and explains, “We’re all out
of the bottled stuff, I’m going to have to give you draft.”
Q. Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A. Yes, pregnancy.
A husband asks: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
Not unless the word “alimony means anything to you.
What would be different if men were the ones who got pregnant?
Maternity leave would last for two years with full pay and morning sickness would rank as the nation’s #1 health problem.
What is the most common pregnancy craving? For men to be the ones who get pregnant.
Q. What does it mean when the baby’s head is crowning?
A. It means you feel as though not only a crown but the entire throne is trying to make its way out of you.
Multiple births seem to be popping up all over the place:
Twins, triplets, Quads and more! I think I can understand what’s going on:
The shape the world’s in today, kids are afraid to come out by themselves!
How does being pregnant make you feel?
Like a superhero, a really tired, weak superhero who wants to eat all the time and isn’t allowed to lift heavy objects.
Q. The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
A. ‘Cause you’re fatter than they are.
Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth? Yes, pregnancy.
What do a pregnant woman and a burned cake have in common?
You should’ve taken it out earlier.
People are giving birth underwater now. They say it’s less
traumatic for the baby because it’s in water.
But it’s certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool.
What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
Q. My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.
A. So what’s your question?
The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why? ‘Cause you’re fatter than they are.
Are you having a natural childbirth?
Why, yes—in that it’s completely natural to take drugs to alleviate excruciating pain!
Yo momma so fat, she gets confronted every time she drinks or smokes because everyone thinks shes pregnant.
Pregnancy jokes on images
A variety of jokes and riddles are collected in these collections: