When you prepare a greeting card for your marriage anniversary or you are going to say a toast in front of your guests, you can use these funny marriage quotes. Our team has collected the best funny wedding wishes to make traditional marriage celebration more enjoyable and memorable. A wedding day is a very special event and you must be well-prepared to it. You will meet a lot of people and, of course, there will be a necessity to speak in front of guests. In order not to get confused you should write down some interesting quotes devoted to love and marriage life and try to memorize them. If you feel like reading those quotes, then you should get a nice greeting card and copy one of our wedding quotes into it. This will make you much more confident. During such an important day you should tell your life partner the best words which describe your true feelings. You enter a new period of life which will bring you a lot of new experiences. You should encourage and support your partner in all his or her beginnings. Also, you can use these quotes when you are invited to friends’ weddings. Never hesitate to express what you feel and do not wait for a special occasion to come. Just pick up one of those quotes, modify it a bit to make more personal and present to your life partner.
Funny marriage quotes
Funny wedding quotes
My prince is not coming on a white horse… He’s obviously riding a turtle, and definitely lost.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.
You may be married, but you don’t have to grow up! Congratulations on your wedding!
Never, under any circumstances, should you argue with a spouse who is currently packing your parachute!
The most important four words for a successful marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.
Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurrasic Park.
Marriage is a bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music, and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
They say love is blind…and marriage is an institution. Well, I’m not ready for an institution for the blind just yet.
Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.
Marriage Humor Quotes
Is your big wedding day coming soon? Were you invited to your friends’ wedding party? Both situations are special and require a bit of preparation from your side. You can go for these marriage quotes with humor when you want to say the toast to your guests or to your friend. You can use traditional quotes or funny ones to make all people smile and relax.
Funny marriage quotes
Some relationships are like Tom and Jerry, they argue and disagree all the time, but they still can’t live without each other.
Marriage is when a man looses his bachelors degree and woman gets her masters degree.
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.
Marriage ain’t for sissies! Congrats on your first big step together.
Marriage is not just spiritual communion; it is also remembering to take out the trash.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
Playboy is coming out with a new magazine for married men – every month the centerfold is the same woman.
I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Only married people can understand how you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years…. then we met.
No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.
Listening to wife is like reading the terms & conditions of website. You understand nothing, but still you say: ‘I agree!
Funny Wedding Congratulations
Would you like to entertain your guests during a wedding celebration? You should use these funny wedding congratulations in order to make the atmosphere more relaxed. Such a special day should be celebrated with joy and happiness. So, you can say words of love and wisdom in a creative way. People will never forget your speech!
They say opposites attract – If that’s the case this marriage could last for a very long time. Best wedding wishes.
Marriage is just fancy word to adopt an over grown male child who is no more handled by his parents.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
“Spending time with friends” will now be a distant memory. Best wedding wishes.
Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing.
Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.
I never knew how exciting dating could be until I got married.
A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.
Weddings are not for the faint-hearted – ask my bank manager… Have a great day!
Two become One: one bed, one remote, one bathroom! Congratulations on your union as life partners!
Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.
When someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first. And that tells you everything you need to know about marriage. Congratulations anyway.
Funny Wedding Card Messages
Were you invited to a wedding, but you can’t come in person? This is a big event for your friends and you should definitely send them one of our funny wedding card messages. Just have look at all beautiful words in this collection of quotes and pick the one you prefer. Your friends will appreciate your words of wisdom presented with a good sense of humor. Such funny congratulations are great and your friends will enjoy them so much!
You fantasize about lovely and beautiful things for your marriage, soon you will dream about living alone surrounded with motionless hands of time. Just kidding. Enjoy your wedding.
Do you know what late nights, parties and weekend hanging out with friends have in common? You won’t have all of them from now on… 🙂 Congratulations on your wedding day!
Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join. Happy wedding day!
Welcome to the dangerous world of married life. It‘s too late to repent! Have an amazing journey!
A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.
For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end.
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
You are actually shown some respect when priests asks you to say ‘I do’. Else it’s not that you have any other choice either. Happy Married Life Ahead!
Before you’re married, you will fall madly in love with each other. After you’re married, you will just be mad at each other. Oh well, best wishes on your wedding.
Marriage is like a public toilet, those waiting outside are desperate to get in and those inside are desperate to come out.
It’s like paying EMIs of your under construction house. But here you keep paying EMIs for your entire life and never even get to say a word. Wishing you a happy married life!
Marriage. At least he’s using a coaster.
Funny Marriage Images
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