Do you like dirty jokes? It is true, such jokes are hilarious and it is very difficult not to like them. Just check out the funniest dirty jokes we could find. This selection of the funniest dirty jokes is something you can’t miss. You can send these dirty jokes to your best friends to boost their mood for the entire day.
What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
Beat it. We’re closed.
A dick has a sad life.
His hair’s a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor’s an asshole, his bestfriend’s a pussy, and his owner beats him.
How is a woman like a road?
They both have manholes.
Q: What is a difference between Ooooh and Aaaah?
A: Only 3 inches.
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
An old man and an old lady are getting ready for bed one night when all of a sudden the woman bursts out of the bathroom, flings open her robe and yells “Super Pussy!” The old man says “I’ll have the soup.”
Strength is hanging a wet towel over your penis.
Endurance is keeping it up until it has gone dry.
Dirty one liners
Discover the following dirty one liners collection! These jokes are super funny. If you are in a bad mood, just read these jokes and the problem of depression will disappear by itself. Do not forget to share these dirty jokes one liners with your best friends – they will enjoy them a lot!
What type of bird gives the best head?
Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say “don’t” and if he touches your pussy say “stop”?
Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said “don’t stop”
What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
What do you call an extra page in the porn magazine?
– Prolonged play time!
Q: What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself?
A: A tearjerker.
What should you do if you come across an elephant?
Apologize and wipe it off.
Little Lindsay was getting a visit by her cousin for the first time and when they were gonna go swimming during the night she saw him naked.
Funny dirty jokes
Do your friends love dirty jokes? Get ready to discover a lot of new and vert funny dirty jokes. They are so spicy, you can’t even imagine. You will entertain all your friends!
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!
Q: What does a perverted frog say?
Q: How do you get a nun pregnant? A: Dress her up as an alter boy.
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
Together, we can stop this shit.
92% of all men fall asleep within 20 minutes after having sex. This might lead to dangerous situations in traffic since they are all at their way home to their wives at that point.
What’s the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?
There are twenty of them.
Dirty adult jokes
If you want to find special jokes for adults, you should see the following dirty adult jokes. These are the funniest jokes you can find on the internet.
Q: What’s green and smells like pork?
A: Kermit the frog’s finger
A man is lying on the beach, sun bathing, wearing nothing but a cap over his dick.
An ugly woman is passing and remarks “If you were a gentleman, you would lift your hat for a lady …”
He replies “If you were any sort of lady, the hat would lift itself!”
How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly?
If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely can’t look down.
A blue whale shoots 400 liter sperm each time he cums. But only 10 % enters the partner, which means that 360 liter floats away.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Q: Whats the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
A: When you slap a mosquito, it stops sucking.
Son: Daddy what are those big round things on mummies chest?
Dad: They’re balloons son. When mummy dies we can blow them up and she’ll float to heaven.
Son: Really? Because Uncle Frank was blowing them up yesterday and mummy kept saying “Oh God, I’m coming” but she didn’t float anywhere!”
Short dirty jokes
Explore one of the best selections of short dirty jokes. These jokes are very short, but they are overloaded with spice.
Q: What do preists and Mcdonalds have in common? A: They both stick there meat in 10 year old buns
What do you call two men fighting over a slut?
What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cubes have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Q: Whats the best thing about dating homeless chicks?
A: You can drop them off anywhere.
Why don’t little girls fart?
They don’t get assholes til they’re married.
How is a girlfriend like a laxative?
They both irritate the shit out of you.
Naughty boy draws a p*nis on a black board.
Lady teacher rubs it off.
Next day he draws a bigger one and writes:
REMEMBER THE MORE YOU RUB THE BIGGER IT GETS!
Q: What has got two legs and bleeds? A: Half a dog!
How is being in the military like getting a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Q: What do tofu and a dildo have in common?
A: They are both meat substitutes!
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Beause they’re used to eating nuts.
Dirty jokes on images