If you have a playful mood right now you will enjoy these funny sex jokes. Adults love this kind of humor. You can send these sexual jokes to your sweetheart and see what effect they will make. This kind of jokes should be better sent in a private message or SMS. Like this, you will create an intimacy. You can be sure, after reading these hilarious jokes your partner will have a special mood this evening. Do not be shy to express your sexuality. Your relationships will only benefit from this.
A boy says to a girl, “So, sex at my place?” “Yeah!” “Okay, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother, and he thinks we’re making sandwiches, so we have to have a code. Cheese means faster and tomato means harder, okay?” Later on the girl is yelling, “Cheese cheese, tomato tomato!” The younger brother says, “Stop making sandwiches! You’re getting mayo all over my bed!”
It’s been so long since I’ve had sex I’ve forgotten who ties up whom.
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? Once you open it, you realize it’s half-empty.
Research shows that a man knows they’re falling in love after 3 dates, but women don’t fall in love until date 14.
Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, “Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!” Maria replied, “See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!”
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
When it comes to online porn, men are 6 times more likely than women to seek it out.
Dirty sex jokes
Check out one of the hottest collections of dirty sex jokes. This is the best way to make your love relationships stronger and more exciting.
You think seven years bad luck for breaking a mirror is bad?
Try breaking a condom…
Pubic hair is programmed to grow a certain amount.
Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering a minor.
Sex is like math: you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and hope you don’t multiply.
There are 4,2 million porn websites around the world.
I said to the wife last night as we were getting into bed, “That box of Olympic condoms arrived today. I think I’ll wear gold tonight.”
She said, “Why don’t you wear silver and come second for once?”
Aphallatosis is a mental disorder resulting from a lack of sex life.
Funny sex jokes
These funny sex jokes will make your partner feel very hot. Do not hesitate to share them if you want to boost your relationships and add some spice to a daily routine.
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
He only comes once a year.
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
Q: What’s the difference between a girl and a washing machine.
A: When a guy dumps a load in the washing machine, it doesn’t follow him around.
What’s worse than finding a hole in your condom?
Finding a condom in your hole.
Q: What do you call a cheap circumcism?
A: A rip-off.
What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.
Sex jokes for adults
Discover a lot of awesome sex jokes for adults. This is a very hot humor, which will make your sweetheart laugh a lot. A hot evening is guaranteed.
My wife likes to talk to me during sex. In fact, the other day she called
me from a motel.
What do you do with 365 used condoms?
Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.
Q: Why is being in the military like a BJ?
A: The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
Because his wife died.
Q: What does in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet?
A: Chewing gum.
My sex life is very bad. If it weren’t for pickpockets I’d have no sex life at all.
A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?” Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.
Sex jokes short
Do you want to send your lover something very hot? Have a look at these sex jokes short. They are so hot and funny at the same time. Your partner will be pleasantly surprised.
Q: What do going down on an old woman and a pork pie have in common?
A: You have to bite the crust and lick out the jelly before you get to the meaty bit.
Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it’s getting interesting, they’re finished until next time!
I worry about kids today. Because of the sexual revolution they’re going to grow up and never know what “dirty” means.
Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A: Why are YOU shaking? She’s going to eat me!
Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in Deep Shit.
Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A: Because all those men already have boyfriends.
What have clouds and men got in common?
When they finally fuck off, it’s a very nice day!
Q: Did you hear about the cannibal that made a bunch of businessmen into Chili?
A: I guess he liked seasoned professionals.
Two hookers were on a street corner. They started discussing business and one of the hookers said, “Yep, it’s gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air.” The other hooker looked at her and said, “No, no. I just burped.
Q: What do girls and noodles have in common?
A: They both wiggle when you eat them.
What’s the difference between your wife and your job? After five years, your job will still suck.
Funny sex jokes on images
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