Funny Marriage Quotes

When you prepare a greeting card for your marriage anniversary or you are going to say a toast in front of your guests, you can use these funny marriage quotes. Our team has collected the best funny wedding wishes to make traditional marriage celebration more enjoyable and memorable. A day of the wedding is a very special event and you must be well-prepared to it. You are going to meet a lot of people there and will have to speak in front of guests. In order not to get confused you should write down some interesting quotes devoted to love and marriage life and try to memorize them. If you feel like to read those quotes then you should get a good-looking greeting card and include there one of our wedding quotes. This will make you much more confident. During such an important day you should tell your life partner the best words which describe your true feelings. You enter a new period of life which will bring you a lot of new experiences. You should encourage and support your partner in all his or her beginnings. Also, you can use these quotes when you are invited to friends’ weddings. Never hesitate to express what you feel and do not wait for a special occasion to come. Just pick up one of those quotes, modify it a bit to make more personal and present to your life partner.

Funny marriage quotes

My prince is not coming on a white horse… He’s obviously riding a turtle, and definitely lost.

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.

You may be married, but you don’t have to grow up! Congratulations on your wedding!

Never, under any circumstances, should you argue with a spouse who is currently packing your parachute!

The most important four words for a successful marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.

The four most important words in any marriage…”I’ll do the dishes.

Marriage is a bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music, and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

They say love is blind…and marriage is an institution. Well, I’m not ready for an institution for the blind just yet.

Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.

Marriage Humor Quotes

Do you have a wedding soon? Were you invited to a wedding party of your friends? Both situations are special and requires a bit of preparation from your side. You can use these marriage humor quotes when you want to say the toast to your guests or to your friend. You can use traditional quotes or funny ones to make all people smile and relax.

Marriage humor quotes

Some relationships are like Tom and Jerry, they argue and disagree all the time, but they still can’t live without each other.

Marriage is when a man looses his bachelors degree and woman gets her masters degree.

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.

Marriage ain’t for sissies! Gongrats on your first big step together.

Marriage is not just spiritual communion; it is also remembering to take out the trash.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

Playboy is coming out with a new magazine for married men – every month the centerfold is the same woman.

I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Only married people can understand how you can be miserable and happy at the same time.

Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.

No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.

Listening to wife is like reading the terms & conditions of website. You understand nothing, but still you say: ‘I agree!

Funny Wedding Congratulations

Would you like to entertain your guests during a wedding celebration? You should use these funny wedding congratulations in order to make the atmosphere more relaxed. Such a special day should be celebrated with joy and happiness. So, you can say words of love and wisdom in a creative way. People will never forget your speech!

Funny wedding congratulations

Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face!

Marriage is just fancy word to adopt an over grown male child who is no more handled by his parents.

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

Married life is like a walk in the park. Jurassic park!

Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing.

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.

I never knew how exciting dating could be until I got married.

A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.

All my friends are getting married. I guess I’m just at that age where people give up.

 I thought I was stupid until I got married. My stupidity was confirmed.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.

When someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first. And that tells you everything you need to know about marriage.

Funny Wedding Card Messages

Were you invited to a wedding but you can’t come in person? This is a big event for your friends and you should definitely send them one of our funny wedding card messages. Just have look at all beautiful words in this collection of quotes and pick the one you prefer. Your friends will appreciate your words of wisdom presented with a good sense of humor. Such funny congratulations are great and your friends will enjoy them so much!

Funny wedding card messages

People say you can’t live without love, but I think oxygen is more important.

In our marriage everything is 50/50. I cook, he eats. I wash, he wears. I shop, he pays!

Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join.

Welcome to the dangerous world of married life. It‘s too late to repent! Have an amazing journey!

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end.

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.

I’m going to get married again because I’m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings … and lawyers.

Marriage is like a public toilet, those waiting outside are desperate to get in and those inside are desperate to come out.

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.

Marriage. At least he’s using a coaster.

Funny Marriage Images

Funny wedding wishes

Funny marriage images

Funny marriage pictures

Funny wedding images

Funny wedding pictures

Marriage humor images

Marriage humor pictures

Funny congrats about wedding

 

Funny wedding card

Funny quotes on pics for marriage

 

 

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