Well, we feel sorry for all blond women, but this collection of blonde jokes is all about you. Do not take these jokes too seriously and personally. This is just a good humor, which you can share with your friends. A good mood is guaranteed.
Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, “It’s dark in here isn’t it?” The other replied, “I don’t know; I can’t see.”
One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt.
The doctor askes her what had happened.
She says, “well… when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I mistakanly picked up the iron instead of the phone”.
“Well that explains one ear, but what about the other.”
“The bastard called again”.
The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it.
Her coworker asks, “What do you have in it?”
She replies, “Soup and ice cream.”
Q: Whats the worst thing about dating a blonde? A: If you don’t know what hole to put it in neither do they.
Q: Why can’t a blonde dial 911?
A: She can’t find the eleven.
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
How do you keep a blonde busy?
Write “flip” on both sides of a sheet of paper.
Dumb blonde jokes
There are millions of jokes about blond women. However, this selection of dumb blonde jokes is something extraordinary. Every joke will make you laugh during the entire day.
Q: How did the blonde lawyer sway the judge? A: She dropped her briefs.
A blonde approached a pop machine and put in a dollar. Out came a cola. She put in another dollar. Out came a root beer. She kept doing this, becoming more and more excited with every can she purchased.
Finally, a man came up behind her and asked if she would mind letting him buy a drink. The blonde responded, “Are you crazy? I’m not leaving this machine while I’m still winning!”
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.
What’s every blonde’s dream in life?
To be like Vanna White and actually learn the alphabet.
Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said ‘concentrate’.
Two blondes drove to the mall and lost the car keys. They ended up standing in the parking lot frantically trying to unlock their car door with a coat hanger.
The first blonde said, “I can’t seem to get this door unlocked!” The second blonde answered, “Well, you’d better hurry up and try harder, it’s starting to rain, and the top is down!”
Clean blonde jokes
Do you like jokes about blondes? Discover one of the biggest selections of clean blonde jokes. Hurry up to share these jokes online with all your friends.
A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, “Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes…”
What goes vroom, screech, vroom, screech?
A blonde at a flashing red light.
What did the blonde say when she saw the Cheerios box? “Omg, donut seeds!”
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
“I wonder if it’s mine.”
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, “PULL OVER!”
“NO!” the blonde yelled back, “IT’S A SCARF!”
There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don’t, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, “I’ll get off.” The blondes, all moved by the brunette’s speech, start clapping. Problem solved.
Dirty blonde jokes
Most of the jokes about blondes are very hot. Check out the following dirty blonde jokes and you will understand what we try to explain to you.
Q: What’s a blondes favorite bread? A: Hump-per-nickel.
Three blondes walk into a building.
You’d think at least one of them would’ve seen it.
How did the blonde die while raking leaves? She fell out of the tree.
A science teacher tells his class, “Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773.” A blonde student responds, “Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it.”
A blonde decided to paint a room. When her husband got home, he asked, ‘Why are you wearing an Alaskan and a winter coat?’ She replied, “The can said for best results apply 2 coats.”
A blonde girl says to her friend, “I think Bill is cheating on me. I’m no longer even sure the kids are mine.”
Funny blonde jokes
Nowadays, there are so many resources for jokes, but these funny blonde jokes are unique. Such jokes are better than any kind of antidepressant.
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar?
Someone told her drinks were on the house.
Q: How do you know a blonde likes you? A: She screws you two nights in a row.
What did the blonde say when she saw the Cheerios box? “Omg, donut seeds!”
Why do blondes wear underwear? To keep their ankles warm.
Why don’t blondes like to breast feed their children?
Because it hurts when they boil their nipples.
What do blondes and dog shit have in common?
The older they get, the easier it is to pick them up.
Two blondes are facing each other across a wide stream.
One yells to the other, “How do you get to the other side?”
The other blonde replies, “You are on the other side!”
Short blonde jokes
Do you enjoy posting jokes on Facebook and sharing them with your friends? Explore one of the biggest collections of short blonde jokes. They are short but extremely funny.
Why did the blonde tip toe near the medicine cabinet? Because she didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!!
A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, It got cold so I turned off the fan.
Blonde jokes were invented by brunettes, jealous of Marilyn Monroe getting to have sex with JFK.
Death: It’s your time. give me your hand
Blonde: No! i know that if i dont touch you then I’ll never die!
Death: Holy shit! You figured out the key to living forever! You’re soooo smart! High five!
Blonde: *high fives*
Death: Typical blonde… Dumbass…”
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, “I’m hanging myself because I’m tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!” Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, “I thought you were hanging yourself.” She said, “Yes, I am!” The husband replied, “Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?” She said, “I tried that, but I couldn’t breathe.”
Blonde and brunette jokes
There are many jokes about blondes, but this is the biggest stereotype, which we want to break with the help of this blonde and brunette jokes selection.
Blonde: What does IDK stand for?
Brunette: I don’t know
Blonde: Why doesn’t anyone know!
An evil genie captured a brunette, a redhead, and a dumb blonde and banished them all to the desert for a week. The genie allowed them each to bring one thing.
The brunette brought a canteen so she wouldn’t die of thirst.
The redhead brought an umbrella so she could keep the sun off.
The dumb blonde brought a car door, so if it got too hot out, she could just roll down the window!
A blonde and a brunette were walking through a park, when the brunette said, “Aw, look at the poor dead bird”.
The blonde looked up and asked, “Where?”
Why did God create blondes?
So there’d be somebody to fetch beer.
Why did God create brunettes?
Because the blondes were failing at it miserably.
Blonde jokes on images
Even more quotes, jokes and riddles in the following posts: